Off The Wall Presents Clouds @ The Magnet, Liverpool / Sept 27th

I’ll be honest, I don’t get out of the house much these days. It’s partly down to old age, but mostly down to the the fact that a mere three pints results in either impromptu nap time or loss of 90% of motor function (also old age I guess). Add a a few extra curriculars into the equation and the ramifications become potentially massive.

So yeah, I ain’t as rave hardy as I was in my youth, which makes being unnaturally into techno a bit like going to strip club after a year without sex – I desperately want to get stuck into what’s on offer, but pursuing it would lead to a swift kick to the skull, followed by lengthy hospitalisation – with no visits from friends or family.

However, occasionally I do venture out, but only if the situation categorically insists. This September I will be tearing myself from my comforting cocoon of quiet existence, love, and family happiness to put it all on the line, in Liverpool, to see what I rate as one of UK (although soon might not be) techno’s proudest achievements – Clouds.

If you’re unacquainted with their work, seriously, check it out. I’ve bunged in a sample of their stuff above. It’s face-tearing caustic brilliance, and on Sept 27th they hit The Magnet for a full three hours of rowdy, decadent, excessive brutality – and I can’t fucking wait. Excited doesn’t cover it.

I implore anyone with even the mildest techno interest to check it out. I’ll be the one dribbling on the floor, hunched in front of the sound system with sick round my mouth, crying about being a fundamentally awful person – but leave me be, I’ll be loving every minute of it, in a masochistic, perverse way that only Clouds could justifiably soundtrack. Speech over, check it out for yourself.